


Putrefactione

by HikariMat



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Depression, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape is not main paring, Sanji Is Not A Vinsmoke, Sanji is Zoro's sunshine, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-09-05 10:36:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16808974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HikariMat/pseuds/HikariMat
Summary: After a major trauma in his life, Zoro isolates himself from the world, allowing only his friend Sanji to remain nearby. After a lot of convincing him, he agrees to consult a psychiatrist, and this was possibly the worst choice of his life.





	1. Prologue.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first longfic, and BruceChickinson is translating it for me (thank you, beautiful)
> 
> Hopefully, I'm gonna be updating this twice a month (:
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, is a psychological disorder caused by a traumatic event. The stress prolongs and disrupts one's daily life, the dread takes on a life of its own, and may even lead to suicide.

Roronoa Zoro had always been an active man. He took good care of his health, performed daily physical exercises, worried about nutrition, was relatively sociable, just drank a little more than he should, no harm there. Basically a perfect life, until a fateful day a few weeks ago.

"KUINA!!!" Zoro woke up panting, sweating like crazy, clothes clinging to his body. Again that damn dream, that damn memory and that damn feeling of failure.

His heart was racing and the feeling of emptiness was horrible. His hands were shaking, his throat was dry and he felt cold even with his whole body boiling. Those memories he wished never to have came back like a whirlwind in his mind, it was terrible.

"Damn..." He looked around the messy room that seemed so empty. Illuminated only by the little light that came in through the closed window, he could barely see things clearly. He felt like complete shit, wished he hadn’t woken up. He never thought that one day his self-esteem would be so low, all because of someone precious.

He rose from the bed, defeated. He had no reason to leave, could isolate himself in that room and stay there until he died of lack of water and food. Or he could end his pain at once, as he had tried several times before...

An irritating noise from his cell phone got him out of his trance and fend off suicidal thoughts. The name that appeared on the screen was undoubtedly the only motive left for him to continue living. The only motive that had prevented him from finally tying a rope around his neck until he choked to death.

_Guru Guru_ _♡_ _: Bonjour_ _დ_ _I'm waiting in the usual place_

"That fake French..." Zoro smiled to himself, feeling his heart calm down. A warm feeling pushed away the anguish he was feeling, making his chest much lighter. He stared at the heart that the blond put after his nickname, smiling silly. He wanted to see him. Hug him. Kiss him. Make love to him. And even if he couldn't do any of this, just being with him would be enough. He loved and would always love, just him, only Sanji.

_"good morning m going"_

He replied quickly, without giving importance to any kind of punctuation or frills of perfect vocabulary. He took a quick shower to get rid of that uncomfortable sweat, did his morning hygiene, put on the first long-sleeved clothing he found, and opened the window so the house wouldn't be moist.

"Nice day to die." He spoke out of nowhere, staring up at the blue sky. The day was beautiful, just not beautiful for those who had only one reason to live.

He made the same monotonous way as usual to a coffee shop near his house. He saw a well-known blond hair, the only person left in his shitty life.

"Hey." He nodded, already sitting in the chair next to the blonde. He touched lightly the top of the blond head, feeling the need to touch him somehow.

"Good Morning." He smiled a beautiful smile. His name was Sanji, his longtime best friend, the only reason he had not killed himself yet.

The blond was wearing sunglasses, a pound of makeup, probably sunscreen too, and a long fringe covered one of his eyes. Zoro never understood his style, much less the reason he started wearing makeup after a certain age, but did not touch the subject, Sanji always cared a lot for his appearance and was not going to argue with a metrosexual madman. Oh, and he had a cigarette at the corner of his mouth, an addiction he'd had since he was very young, and not even eating kept him apart from that damn death stick. At least Zoro had grown accustomed to the smell, and he didn't even feel uncomfortable anymore.

"You're really going, right?" Sanji asked, sipping his black coffee. He got a tangling of his eyes, the millions of messages were not enough, he still had to face the direct questions. At least the blond had already ordered his breakfast.

"I told you I am! You're such a pain in the ass!" He replied without much encouragement. He knew he was traumatized, with depression and suicidal thoughts, well, not just thoughts, but his problems wouldn't be magically solved by some psychiatrist! Kuina wouldn't return anyway.

"I'll give you a ride." He dragged on the cigarette, releasing the smoke.

"You don't have to."

"Zoro!" He raised his voice, grunting in response. That unbearable blond sounded like his mother!

"Whatever!" He frowned, giving up arguing. Sanji was so annoying!

For the rest of the breakfast, they continued to talk animatedly about the most banal and serious matters that existed. Usually they would begin to fight and argue for some stupid reason, but both were taking light, Zoro was fragile and Sanji was fully aware of it, anything said without thinking could be a trigger for the man and bring serious consequences. Zoro blamed himself for what had happened and even though Sanji was blaming himself the same way, the situation was different.

When the blond's work time came, he left Zoro in front of the doctor's office and they for a few moments they were in silence in the car. It was comfortable to be simply in each other's presence without the need for a subject, they felt good like that.

"It's almost time." Zoro spoke quietly, as if he did not want to cut the nice climate.

"I know." Sanji turned to him and they stared at each other for a few seconds until they smiled lightly. "Will you be all right by yourself?"

"Yeah" He hesitated before answering, regretting immediately, already waiting for Mother Sanji.

"Are you sure?"

"Don't start."

"Anything just call me."

"Ok." They stared in silence for a few more seconds, until Zoro felt the gentle touch of the blond's hand on his arm. Sanji did not squeeze, he knew full well what was hidden under that cold blouse. Nobody in their right mind wore long sleeves in that weather.

"Don't forget to talk about it..." He asked a little uncertainly if he should even touch the subject, it's not as if the game was totally open between the two, Sanji only had a slight idea of the suffering that Zoro was facing.

"I know." He rolled his eyes, irritated, didn't really want to talk about the cuts in his arms, not with Sanji. He didn't want to look weak in front of him. "I'll see you later." He said and got out of the car. The blonde waited to see him enter the office, but Zoro was just standing next to the driver's door.

"What is it? Want a goodbye kiss?" He asked, smiling slightly.

"I do." He smiled back joining his game. To his surprise, the hand that held the door, had just felt the heat of that idiot's lips, making Zoro blush. His heart quickened and he looked away, completely embarrassed by the situation, feeling very strange. He put his hand away and placed it on the back of his head, scratching his hair. "I-idiot..."

Sanji just smiled innocently. They could stay the rest of the day teasing each other, it felt so good, but Zoro had an appointment. Sanji motioned for him to go, and even flushed, embarrassed, and hesitant, Zoro entered the office. He would have his first appointment after his trauma.

The blonde lit a cigarette, turned on the air-conditioner and after a few minutes smoking in the motionless car, waiting to see if Zoro was not going to run and flee from there, he started the engine and finally went to work. If he arrived late he didn't care. He didn't really want to work there, but it was the family's business, so he had to.


	2. Psychiatrist.

In the first month, their meetings were very quiet.

Zoro was seeing the psychiatrist twice a week. At the first appointment, he barely said a word, only nodding and answering the questions evasively. But, little by little, even if superficially, he was opening up to the doctor, talking about his past traumas and fears, showing the marks which he himself had done to his body in times of weakness and despair.

He felt fragile and psychologically unstable. Much was still kept secret, only in his heart. Sometimes, he thought it was much easier to open up with his friend than with that weird doctor. And he was _really_ weird.

Trafalgar Law was not the kind of person he was used to see as a doctor. An all-tattooed psychiatrist was not a very common stereotype. Not counting the dark circles under his eyes and absolutely non-friendly face, he was probably considered scary by most of his patients.

In Zoro's vision, he was nothing but a drugged psychopath.

But at least his degree was in a picture on the wall, always well visible to clients. It seemed to be reliable enough.

Zoro was very introspective with strangers, so, according to Law, the use of medication was necessary for the consultations to be simpler and also for a faster improvement. Antidepressants, among other things he didn't fully explain to Zoro, were prescribed by Law and, after much hesitation, Zoro began the treatment with the drugs.

In the second month, an unexpected invitation came up.

"Don't you want to go out with me? That would make you feel better, no doubt." It was an invitation disguised as a psychiatrist's recommendation, as if he was pretending to care about Zoro's well-being, just as a doctor should.

That meaningless request was quickly turned down. Perhaps at a time when Zoro was feeling more fragile he would have easily accepted without second thoughts, but that was not the case _yet_.

Unfortunately, the same request was repeated in the third month and Zoro accepted. He would regret it later. This had undoubtedly been the worst decision of his life.

It had been almost a week since he had met Sanji because that monster wife of his had threatened the blond with a divorce if he left the house to meet Zoro. His heart was broken, the blond was in trouble at home and with his family and Zoro couldn't do a thing. He felt weak, unable to help, and he realized once again that he was useless.

He couldn't save Kuina and couldn't help Sanji, he was a failure. Why was he still alive? He just wanted to die... That was his first crisis after months of treatment and much support from Sanji. He hurt his own body and condemned himself for not being able to end his suffering once more, especially for having done something the blonde had pleaded him so many times not to. He felt guilty for all the trouble around him, even if it was not even his fault, and it was not Zoro's fault that Sanji's wife was crazy.

The blond didn't know abou this, he could never know or he would surely feel guilty and it wasn't his fault at all. It was Zoro's because he was so weak, because he was a loser.

Law, realizing the situation, knew that this was the right time to take advantage. The invitation wasn't innocent, there were hundreds of hidden intentions that Zoro didn't notice. That was for his own good, wasn't it? He believed his doctor.

That night the doctor made him sleep with him. Always using the excuse that it would do him good, that this was for his health, that Zoro would thus improve, be healed, overcome his trauma.

After many strange drinks that tasted like pure alcohol, they went to a motel. Zoro was very resistant to alcohol, no matter how strong the drink was, but, that night he was much more affected by it than usual. He wasn't perceptive enough to realize that there was some kind of drug that he didn't know about in his drink and so Law's manipulation was being so much simpler.

It was not just the trauma that affected him. Trafalgar had realized that there was also a broken heart and his current torture had a miserable five-letter name. There was no reason not to use it against his victim, that was what most excited guys like him.

"Imagine that I am the one you love..." Law whispered close to Zoro's ear, receiving a completely empty, unfeeling look from him. "Call me Sanji."

Zoro didn't answer. There was no excitement, no love, no desire. He couldn't imagine Sanji there, the blond would never treat him that way, Sanji was different, with him it would be something special he would never forget. Sanji was not the kind of man who would do these things to anyone, he had principles, he was a perfect gentleman. Imagining him fucking him at that moment was totally out of question.

Even extremely drunk, unfortunately aware, he could still discern the facts. He never imagined that he would simply freeze in such a situation and he wouldn't even be able to react.

He didn't agree to this. Law's touches disgusted him. They were hurting him, making him want to die. He felt alive with that physical pain, but that was not the right way to feel alive. The pain was much smaller than the pain in his shattered heart. Physical pain would always be less than psychological pain, and Zoro preferred it that way, but that didn't mean he wanted to be treated that way by a random guy for whom he felt absolutely nothing but disgust.

He was raped that night. At no time did he consent to the situation. He did not cry, but also didn't moan, he did not feel pleasure at all. He didn't react, his eyes showed no response, even though the urge to cry was unbareble, he just wanted that to end.

He wished he had never entered that office, wished that Kuina hadn't died, wished he had arrived in time to save his precious person, wished he had revealed his feelings to the blond earlier.

He wanted to die.

He needed to see Sanji.


	3. Wife.

Sanji never thought that he would marry so soon and there he was, waking up next to one of the most beautiful women in the universe. He had always been a ladies man, a womanizer, an admirer of the fairer sex, a second-rate Don Juan, as Zoro used to call him.

At first, there was no love from the blond in that relationship, but he nevertheless agreed to marry after the bride arranged by his terrible father had cried saying she loved him and everything. With time, he began to fall in love, or that was what she made him think.

Charlotte Purin was the daughter of a great businesswoman whose company was now an important partner in Vinsmoke Judge's company. Good for business, bad for her husband. Purin was not as sweet as she seemed to be. She was abusive and psychologically unstable, some kind of personality disorder perhaps, Sanji couldn’t tell.

In the first months their relationship was actually going pretty well. Purin acted like a sweet, kind and lovely wife, always taking care of her husband, so much so that sometimes Sanji felt kind of useless and almost like an infant. Perhaps it was a bit exaggerated, but it was rather nice, he thought. She treated him well, and he was increasingly beginning to think he loved her. The sex was great and even the children topic was beginning to be brought up in conversations.

He couldn’t tell the reason or the moment when all that changed. She no longer acted like that, instead, his wife had begun to treat him like a slave and stepped on him like he was an insect. Sanji was the kind of husband who allowed himself to be abused, always saying that all women were good, no exceptions. He acted as if he was enjoying it, even though it was actually a self-defence mechanism.

It got so bad that he could no longer sleep well because of the fear of not waking up alive the next day.

During their sex nights, she tried to choke him against his will several times, squeezing her hands in his throat until he was unconscious and when he questioned her the next morning, it was as if she remembered nothing and acted in a all sweet.

For some time, Sanji believed her. However, the abuses began to increase as time passed. Jealousy was something the woman could not cope with and she got crazy over the tiniest of things. It was also exclusively directed to one person: Zoro.

He couldn’t take anyone into their house because she may try to kill them. If she knew he was seeing Zoro every day, she would definitely kill the marimo. And even with all that, Sanji was still with her.

How many times had he not been threatened with a knife? Or worse, how many times has she ever injured him with a knife or any other object at her hand’s reach? The blond 's face was full of bruises and purple stains, he was abused by his wife and couldn’t do anything about it. If he tried to leave after being hurt, she would be already crying and he, being the idiot he was, melted and forgave her. He was very weak with women, Zoro always said that that weakness would be the end of him.

It came at a point in his life that he could no longer leave the house without makeup because he had to hide the marks on his face. He wore sunglasses all the time, even if the day was cloudy, so he always stood out among the crowd.

He felt his cell phone vibrate on the nightstand beside the bed and got up immediately, taking the cell phone to the bathroom and locking himself there. Sanji unlocked the screen and looked at the message. 

_Marimo-chan_ _♡_ _: Hey. Is everything alright?_

He immediately thought something was off. Zoro usually didn’t type that way, didn’t send messages so well written and much less used any punctuation, something must had happened. He looked in the mirror, seeing purple finger marks on his neck and his face saddened. The pain he felt was greater in his heart than on his neck, it was difficult to be treated that way by the woman he "loved."

 _“Yeah”_ He lied. _“It seems you’re not that well, tho.”_ He sent two messages in a row and turned off the phone screen. He quickly did his morning hygiene, taking advantage of the fact that his wife was not up yet. He spread makeup all over his face and neck, he had to apply a very thick coat to hide the large fingerprints that stained his white skin, took his sunglasses and left home to work in that shitty company where he was forced to work by his shitty family. When he sat in the car, the phone vibrated in his pocket and he unlocked its screen again, reading Zoro's message.

_Marimo-chan_ _♡_ _: I am fine._

“I am fine. I am fine my ass.” He said to himself and typed a message, practically pounding angrily on the keyboard, pissed off. He picked up a cigarette hidden in the car's glove compartment, after all, his dear wife had forbidden him to smoke, but it was an addiction Sanji couldn’t stop. 

_“I’m coming.”_

_Marimo-chan_ _♡_ _: Don’t come._

“Don’t come??? Are you fucking shitting me???!!!” He practically screamed, getting more and more pissed. He inhaled the smoke, feeling as if all his energies were restored after several hours pretending to be a polite husband at home. There was something clearly wrong with that bastard and he was hiding it; He was obviously going there, fuck work. He called Zoro's number and when the other answered, Sanji felt relief just by hearing his voice, at least, whatever it was, it didn’t seem so serious. Little did he know...

“Hi...Sanji...” The thought that it didn’t seem so serious vanished in the blink of an eye. Zoro was melancholic and Sanji didn’t what the hell he could do if he was left all by himself. His voice conveyed everything and he probably already done something.

“Don’t move. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” The blond said, trying to keep as calm as he could. His cigarette was gone and a new one had just been picked up from the hiding place and he was chewing on it. That taste, the feeling that he was ruining his health and, yet, that pleasure he felt couldn’t be greater. And he needed to stay calm, because Zoro needed all his help at that moment.

“You don’t need to...” Zoro tried to stop him, even though he knew it was not gonna work, even though he knew he needed to see Sanji.

“Don’t hang up.” He didn’t say anything else. Sanji started the car and left at maximum allowed speed towards Zoro’s house. He tried not to disobey traffic laws, but despair didn’t allow him to think straight.

Just listening to Zoro's breathing through the phone made him more relaxed, yet... He was scared and had a horrible feeling.

He just needed to hug the green-haired man as tightly as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!


	4. Comfort.

He parked the car in front of Zoro's house and hurried off, remembering to take the object off his finger and pick up the cigarette packet in the glove compartment, swapping the packet for the small circular object. In the process his sunglasses ended up falling under the seat, but he was in a hurry to care, he even forgot the cell phone still on the call inside the car.

He stopped at the front door, knocked twice, and without patience to wait, grabbed his copy of the key and opened it himself. As soon as he entered, he saw Zoro standing as if he were about to open the door, still holding his cell phone near his ear.

The relief he felt him was indescribable. Zoro wasn’t bleeding, didn’t look hurt or anything, he wasn’t crying or defeated in a corner, even if his gaze was empty and distant. Something had happened, but at least he wasn’t physically injured.

The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds, as if checking to see if they were really all right. Except for his body being lither than normal and for those enormous dark circles under his eyes, everything seemed to be okay. He sighed relieved.

He felt the man approach and hug him tightly, hiding his face in the curve of his neck and Sanji immediately returned it in the same way. The sense of security they both had felt so good. They were both hiding details of their private lives, important details that might be helping them, but just by being in each other's arms it seemed like all those problems would vanish.

Zoro wished he felt 0.00001% of what he felt with Sanji when Law touched him the night before, everything would be so much simpler, even though he knew it would never happen. No one would ever take the blond’s place, he was special, unique. The love he felt for this man was incomparable.

His dark arms crushed paler ones under Sanji’s suit. Sanji couldn’t move more than his hands. Zoro's warm lips were leaning against his neck, his breath lightly accelerating, making the short hairs on the blond’s neck stand up, the same neck that had been squeezed until he almost choked and fainted the night before, and he was having no problem in being touched there by Zoro.

He felt Zoro's chest expand, heart racing, not realizing that his was as fast as the other’s, a completely normal reaction of the human body, physical contact caused these strange sensations, especially when this contact was with the marimo. He tightened his grip on Zoro's waist, the only place he could reach.

“Ahhhh.” The groan turned out to be obscener than Zoro’d imagined. He blushed at the noise that came from his lips, especially for tender moment they were having.

And Sanji's body reacted. He was a man like any other, after all. He never denied his bisexuality after discovering it, just as he never denied that he had an interest in Zoro, even though he had never spoken directly to him, but Zoro knew. Things had changed anyway, it was too late to be interested, not to mention that he knew how to tell the difference between a moan of pain and one of pleasure.

"You're hurt, aren’t you?" The blonde asked serious. He touched the same spot that made Zoro moan, making him let out another groan, this time much more restrained and clearly in pain. Even so, they didn’t move away.

"They hurt me... Yesterday..." Zoro's voice was so low he could barely hear. His arms tightened further on Sanji's body, not wanting to let go of him. The need to see the blondd he’d felt the night before while Law mistreated him was finally being filled.

“Who?” His hands tightened on the shirt the green haired man wore. He swore he would hurt anyone who did any kind cruelty to his precious marimo. Sanji waited for an answer that never came.

Zoro couldn’t say it. Sanji was the one who insisted he saw a psychiatrist, he could never know that the psychiatrist had raped him, drugged him, wounded him. Sanji would blame himself for the rest of his life because of that, that idiot always blamed himself for everything and he didn’t want him to carry that guilt, he preferred to carry it alone than to make him feel bad.

He released the grip in the blond's body, sliding his hands, until they both rested on Sanji’s chest, realizing that he had lost enough weight so that the blond, who had always been less muscular than he, had surpassed him a little. He tightened his grip on Sanji's well-worn suit, feeling his heartbeat racing.

The blond's hand went up Zoro’s back to the greenish hair, gently holding the back of his neck. His fingers tangled in the green strands, pulling Zoro's face back slightly, until he could look into his eyes, seeing all the pain and sadness he was carrying alone. He wished he could get rid of everything he felt, all that suffering, but there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t force Zoro to say what happened, he couldn’t carry that guilt for him, even though he wanted to. If he could, he would free his precious from all that pain, if he could, he would have done everything differently the day that happened to Kuina.

“I’m sorry.” He pressed his forehead against Zoro's and closed his eyes, sighing, defeated.

"You didn’t do anything, idiot.”

"I know, it's just... I wasn’t here.”

“Hmm...” Zoro also closed his eyes and pressed his hands even more on the blond's suit. Maybe he shouldn’t have sent that message, should’ve pretended to be all right, he knew that idiot was blaming himself even though he didn’t even know what had really happened. The truth which only would made him blame himself more. Why did they have to be like that? They needed to stop blaming themselves for everything.

"You're precious, Zoro..." Sanji said softly, still with his eyes closed. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that Zoro had flushed. The green haired man bit his lower lip, opened his eyes and saw his beloved in that angelic way, totally open for an attack. It was a confidence the two of them had acquired in all those years, low guard and no worry or distrust of the other. Neither would ever do anything without the other’s consent.

“Shut up.” It was obvious he was embarrassed. His heart had warmed and he really wanted to shut that womanizer's mouth with his lips, but he would never, even if Sanji's thin, rosy lips attracted his attention. "I..." He tried to say, as the words tried to escape from his throat. He swallowed hard and when he looked again, he saw the deep blue in the blond's eyes, it would have been easier if he closed his eye, he was always hypnotized by that blue immensity! "S-Sanji, I-" He looked away, staring at anything but the eye or the lips of the other. "Love you..." When he managed to finish the statement, he bit down hard on his lower lip, as if punishing himself for saying that... or simply for feeling it.

Sanji might have been shocked or surprised by that statement, just as he might have felt disgusted of Zoro, despise him or pretend it was a friendship kind of love, and the blond didn’t do any of that, he would never do it. He knew very well that these were his best friend’s true feelings. He had given him the opportunity to confess them several times, but they were only said when it was too late. And, unfortunately for his marriage, he felt exactly the same way.

He cupped Zoro's face, running his thumb over his lips, the other’s teeth pricked and drained blood from his lip. He caressed softly over and over again, until he felt Zoro’s mouth open and give his finger space. He felt a very slight pain on the tip of his thumb as the teeth clamped on his skin, he didn’t care about it, he just wanted to give the marimo comfort and calm him down. It was a mute request for him not to hurt himself any more.

Like an angel, Sanji smiled lovingly. A smile that Purin would never see, because the love of his life was not that woman but the man who was suffering right in front of him. And Zoro loved that smile, he didn’t notice it, but he always ended up mirroring that smile.

Sanji couldn’t say that he had loved Zoro forever, because when they were only two children they were only worried about which game to play the next day, but after he began to have feelings and desires for other men, Sanji realized that Zoro was his special person and Zoro had realized the same thing. So why didn’t they get together? Idiot was their last name. They thought that a relationship could end that friendship so beautiful and so pure that came way back from childhood. They were two idiots who overthought a lot and did little.

“I love you too... Z-Zoro...” Like Zoro, Sanji also looked away, feeling his face become hot, dying of shame. He knew he was a lot more flushed than the other because of his damn pale skin.

How I wished I could kiss him...

Zoro and Sanji couldn’t be happier.

It would be okay...

Until reality reached them again.


	5. Desire.

Sometime that morning Zoro ended up sleeping on Sanji's lap. After having a delicious breakfast prepared by the blond, they decided to watch a movie or anything that was on television. He was so tired that after a few stupid conversations, some good and very profitable laughter, he felt his eyelids getting heavy and it wasn’t long before the blond realized that too, offering his thighs as a pillow and, undoubtedly, they were the best pillow in the world.

Last night, Zoro hadn’t managed to sleep at all, so the dark circles under his eyes were huge. His head hurt like hell. Since he'd gotten out of the cab, he sat in a corner of the house and cursed himself for letting a disgusting guy do those horrible things with his body. He never imagined that he’d simply paralyze at a rape situation and wouldn’t be able to react, run away or do anything else. It was pathetic. He felt dirty, impure.

Zoro was far from being a virgin, it wasn’t like he was waiting for Sanji or something, he had already given up all hope. He loved the blond, yes. But, the guy was married, so he had no chance. He had desires like all men, so it was normal to have relationships, even though it usually didn’t last because everyone noticed how he looked at his friend, how he talked about his friend and that he wasn’t just a friend to him.

The only difference was that at all other times, he had consented to the act, he had wanted it. Delivered his body willingly, and not by being manipulated and forced into something that made him feel disgusted with himself.

He felt dirty for hours, even though he'd taken several baths and scrubbed his body enough to cleanse his soul, none of that was enough. He was just a rotten man, maculated and could never have who he really wanted.

All those bad feelings had vanished when he saw his beloved. Sanji was his ray of sunshine in the darkness. His most precious and beloved person, he wanted to stay with him forever, it was so good to be at his side that way. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept so well.

When Zoro opened his eyes, he had the most perfect view of all. The blond slept comfortably, looking very relaxed. Even sitting on the couch, he still had his perfect posture and one hand rested on Zoro’s green hair, he’d probably caressed his strands until he fell asleep. Sanji was the most beautiful man in the whole universe.

The blond's chest inflated as he breathed calmly, his tempting lips were half open and he seemed to be smiling, so handsome. Oh, how he wanted to kiss those pink lips... The blond hair was messy, leaving both eyes and curly eyebrows in sight, which was very rare to be seen. He couldn’t deny it; those bizarre eyebrows were one of Sanji's greatest charms.

He bit his own lower lip trying to push away the improper thoughts and failing miserably at it. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to sit on the couch next to the other, who remained asleep. Then, gently touched his beloved's face, running his thumb over his lips and coming closer until he could feel the calm breathing on his face.

He licked his lips. His heart pounded, it felt like he was going to have a heart attack at any moment. He needed to kiss him... He felt his breathing become altered, his hands tremble, and he couldn’t even hold that face which was so masculine and delicate at the same time...

Zoro’s heart almost exploding, he felt sweat running down his forehead and a desire to devour those lips, fulfilling all the longing he had felt for years and years.

His insane and traumatized side made him think that it would be okay for him to do that, after all, it would be just a kiss and Sanji wouldn’t even notice... He was sleeping anyway, it would be okay, Sanji loved him too...

Fortunately, Zoro wasn’t that kind of guy. Yes, usually followed his instincts a lot, but not when the subject was that delicate. If he did that, he would be no different from the rapist from last night. He would never kiss him without consent.

He was so distracted looking at those lips that he didn’t notice that the blond was in a very similar trance as his own. He didn’t realize that Sanji had woken up a few moments ago, just as Zoro approached as if to kiss him. The blond wanted so badly that the green haired idiot would close the distance between their lips.

When he looked up, the green eyes stared into a pair of blue ones that were only visible through the mess his blond hair was. It was as if there was a hypnotizing spell in those blue eyes as deep as the sea, as beautiful as the sky, he just couldn’t look away.

Sanji felt his lips dry, having to run his tongue over them lightly, moistening them. It could easily be interpreted as an invitation and maybe it really was, who knows... He was very breathless and sweaty. Part of his makeup was beginning to melt with so much sweat. The nervousness was almost palpable, as was the sexual tension. He wanted to pull the back of Zoro's neck and taste the best kiss of his life in that delicious man’s mouth.

If they both wanted to, then why didn’t they just do it? Oh, yes... Sanji was married. Guilt and reason had just hit him, making him shiver and gasp. They were no longer single teenagers, Sanji had made a commitment and he should be faithful, even if he didn’t really love her and just tried to fool himself with stories made up by his mind. Zoro was his life, but Zoro was not his husband. The ring that should be on his finger felt like it weighed a ton at that moment.

Zoro brought their faces closer. Their breathing mingled, they felt the warm breath of each other as if they were just one. His hand still caressed the blond's face, as if trying to know him... As if he didn’t already know him completely, each strand of beautiful golden hair.

Their noses brushed in a gentle caress, their lips were only a few millimeters apart, like magnets, desperately trying to connect. They could remain in that position forever if the blond's breathing hadn’t begun to fail. He couldn’t take it any longer, he had to kiss Zoro, afterwards he would take the blame and bear the consequences.

The moment Zoro noticed Sanji's hand going toward his face, he had to stop before he let him do something the blond would regret later. He hugged Sanji tightly, hiding his face in the curve of his neck. He wouldn’t let him blame himself over this. The kiss he wanted ended up only targeting his neck, a very innocent and calm kiss.

“Relax... Take a deep breath.” He whispered in the blond's ear, trying to soothe him. It would be all right, all he needed was for Sanji to calm down before he passed out or something and Zoro would inevitably have to call that monster Sanji called his wife.

“S-Sorry... I...” He even tried to explain himself, but the green haired man knew exactly what the apologies were and he wasn’t having any of that. Zoro was the one who let him escape from his arms, Zoro was the one who let him get married because he was a complete coward.

“Calm down... It's okay.” He still whispered in the blond's ear, his hot lips touching the sensitive earlobe, making the other shiver and pant with pleasure. It was probably better to stop teasing. He left one last kiss and moved away from him ear, facing the other again. “You're not to blame for anything.” He finished the sentence by giving a long kiss on one of Sanji's red cheeks.

“B-but...” Sanji tried again to contradict him, which Zoro would not allow. His finger landed in front of the blonde's lips, not letting him continue the sentence. There was no reason to apologize.

It was okay.

When he was by Sanji’s side, everything was always right.


End file.
